Country Retreat

Our new retreat has its pros and cons:

Pro:

Our pond.
Our beautiful front window.
The dozens of bird types right out our door.
Getting to plant a garden.


Con:

Mice.


Whoa.

I am a city girl---something I have not been forced to claim until now.

Now, we have mice and I have to accept the fact that I am unable to set traps (or more importantly to clean up  aforementioned set traps).

Red has been a brave, brave man. We have officially caught 2 and I have a feeling that there are a few more to go.

EEP.

Pray for my survival.

Carolina Green

Spring in NC has been remarkable.

Never before have I seen Wisteria growing wild along side the roads and highways or been blown away by the slow changing from the pale pink to hurt your eyes purple flowers of the Japanese Plum Tree.

It has been transforming for me to observe the changes of the season. The dry gray place we moved to has suddenly brilliantly awaken with blossoms blooming, the spaces between filled with every shade of green imaginable.

The greens here are wild. Seriously. I know Ireland is known for their green--but North Carolina could join the contest.

As we drive along country roads my eyes are trained on the world beyond my window drinking in the vibrancy we pass through: lime, olive, almost black, emerald, avocado, apple, hunters------green.

Our driveway

I am so glad Spring is here! Aren't you?

A Slave to Fear

I have never considered myself an anxious person. Never have I struggled with panic attacks or been unable to push through the day because of my worries. If you had asked me about my approach to life, I would have said: "I'm a flexible planner and believe everything will work out." Life is as hard as I make it--so I'll let things roll off my back and I will move on and have faith, and have hope, and have a future.

With Red's and my move to NC and leap of faith into the world of coaching, I feel more and more exposed.

My fear has been found out---and not only that, it has been growing for my whole life. It is a monster.

Though I am not debilitated with attacks or physical responses---my mind races with my deficiencies, doubts, and debates: Should we have moved here? Was this the right decision? Will anyone hire me? There is no way that is a good fit. I'll never find my niche here. I'll probably mess up anyways.

You can imagine how the narration continues.

It is incredible to me that despite the Lord's provision in ALL things, I find ways to cling to my fear instead of the cross.

I revisited my journal entries from the past 7 months and read through my prayers of praise and pleadings for faith. "Father allow me to abound in you! Grow my faith and dependency on you so that only You receive glory." Prayers punctuated with the desire to know His plan for us and to be in His will.

For 7 months my prayers have not changed.

As I read through my notebook I began to recognize the pattern of fear lurking beneath the surface:

"Father tell me your will! (but not really, because I'm not sure I can handle it); Father, give me faith! (but not really, because I want to work out my life according to my own plan, not yours); Father, what are you calling me to do? (please, don't answer--I don't want to obey you.)

Fear of depending on the Lord. A fear to hope in His goodness. A fear to jump in the pool.

A favorite professor of mine from graduate school would regularly work through things with me and would use the analogy of a pool. My arena is huge---my boundaries are far reaching---but when it comes to jumping into the pool in the center---I freak out.

I want to dip a toe and then explain to you how I'm swimming with out being submerged.

Christ does not call me to simply dip my toe into His will. He calls me to jump with abandon.

Hey Laura, do a cannonball...a cartwheel off the diving board...even a belly flop.

I am convinced that I am not called to live a life of fear. Fear of failure, fear of the past, fear of opinions, fear of mistakes, fear of hurt, fear of exposure, fear of faith, fear of hope, fear of God's will.

Scripture is clear:

"Because those who are led by the Spirit of God are Sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of Sonship. And by Him we cry Abba Father!" Romans 8: 14-15

"...Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so your faith --of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor, when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:6-7

I do not have to live under fear because I am a daughter of Christ. I do not have to wonder about my trials because they are here to prove my faith in the Lord and to bring glory to Christ.

So, I'm wondering if our move to NC was a major nudge from the Lord for me to finally jump into the pool...

Though I'd rather do a swan dive--I'm pretty sure it's going to be a belly flop---painful, screaming--but hey, that water sure is going to feel cool and refreshing.

Hello New Life

Well, so you may or may not have heard the news...but Red and I have officially picked up shop and moved to Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

No. I'm not joking...and yes the Lou is officially in our rearview mirror.

To be honest---it has been a rough go! Life has been so sweet in StL. We built our marriage there and have been blessed in a beyond measurable way with friends, community, church, culture, delicious food, local beers, and outstanding coffee.

Anything that follows the Lou follows greatness.

With that being said, it would be against my personal view of life if I told you that Chapel Hill had nothing to offer.

Red and I have already found an off the chain Mexican restaurant (yes, off the chain) and I have been exploring several of the farm to table local gems. There is plenty of shopping and antiquing surrounding us and the people are all VERY nice (we are in the South again!)

Red's long hours provides plenty of free time for me to get lost in the streets of the Triangle (did I mention Durham and Raleigh are down the road?)---though I think I'm supposed to be looking for a job.

With huge changes come-----huge changes?

Difficult and true.

I will keep you posted as we begin to unfold what North Carolina has to offer and as Red and I find our way in our new home.

Cheers!

Houseplant Confession

So remember how I have been hunting for a house plant for---well, a month or so?

Hmmm....haven't found one yet.

However, due to not going out of town today as was expected, I had a little extra time to do some exploring in my own home town.

It is a beautifully sunny day--cool but warmer than it has been. The perfect weather to get out and about.

Red and I headed down S. Grand to Chimichanga's for lunch---despite rave reviews via Urbanspoon, we left being glad we got that our of our system and with no intention of returning. ( I will say their chips were excellent....thin and light.)

That aside...

Red was meeting up with AD at Sump, so we headed down to Cherokee Street to Antique Row so I could pop into a few of my favorite places. By few, I mean one---where I found a fab old chair that I would love to buy and reupholster. (I'm kidding!!! Ok, no I'm not--but now isn't the best time.)

We left there for Red to hang with AD. I headed around the corner to Meremec and Grand---to an area known as Dutchtown.

Now. I had heard of Dutchtown, but I had never experienced it. And the row that had caught my eye was 4 stores of consignment/re-sale shops. You know I like that.

The first one-- Zaftig was great.

Here is where the confession part comes in.

I found a pair of J.Brand jeans for $17.00

This is an incredible find people. I couldn't pass it up. They fit (....besides needing to be hemmed a few inches) and they are beautiful. I say yes to that.

And the proprietor of the store was a sassy woman filled with personality. Bricks (her nickname) was not to be pushed aside. She even gave me some earrings for half-price. I say yes to that too!

Soft coral/pink color

Unfortunately, this means my hunt for a houseplant is on pause. I had set aside a little birthday money and have officially spent it.

So, future Houseplant? I say sorry to you. My heart is weak for good deals and the jeans beat you out. In a few months I'll make it up to you.