Living Today as it is Supposed to be Lived

Living in the moment is a difficult challenge. There are always so many other things we could be doing--and so we fill our minds with what needs to be done, what we wish we were doing, what we could be doing, what we ought to be doing, and what we know we shouldn't do.

Quickly the day devolves into a flash of events narrated by the to-do list and the wish-list filling our brains. Worry of something slipping and failure consume us. We miss the opportunities all around to connect with people, smell roses, and to actually enjoy our day.

Yes, we have responsibilities. Yes, we do have to manage a gazillion things. But I challenge you. What if today you focused 100% on what is in front of you. Still make that list--but when you are doing the laundry or talking to  friend on the phone, be 100% engaged. Be there. 

As I was checking out at Walmart this morning, my cashier and I struck up a conversation. From Haiti, this man had a joyful temperament that was infectious. Before I reached the register, 4 or 5 colleagues came up just to talk to him--and he was laughing and bringing life to everyone he engaged with. His presence brought a smile to my face.

Exchanging pleasantries, he warmly asked how my morning had been so far and I replied by saying that I had no complaints. He heartily responded with, "Isn't that the truth? You went to bed last night and woke up this morning!" I smiled and said, "That's right!"

Friends, I quickly I responded! But do I truly operate out of that blessing? Do I really live as if today is a gift from God and not just another day to be filled? How different my vision for my day is when I realize the value it has. 

Today is not just another day. Refuse to give into that. Today is a day that you have an opportunity.

An opportunity: to get ahead in house work; to call a friend you haven't spoken with in a while; to read a book that moves you; to teach your child the beauty of forgiveness; to snuggle with your spouse; to push through that work deadline; to enjoy the gift of a car (even if it is in traffic!); and the list goes on.

So, do not worry about tomorrow. Instead, be where you are and enjoy life as it comes to you. It will not always be an easy life, but it will always be yours.

Matthew 6:25-3425 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Country Retreat

Our new retreat has its pros and cons:

Pro:

Our pond.
Our beautiful front window.
The dozens of bird types right out our door.
Getting to plant a garden.


Con:

Mice.


Whoa.

I am a city girl---something I have not been forced to claim until now.

Now, we have mice and I have to accept the fact that I am unable to set traps (or more importantly to clean up  aforementioned set traps).

Red has been a brave, brave man. We have officially caught 2 and I have a feeling that there are a few more to go.

EEP.

Pray for my survival.

Carolina Green

Spring in NC has been remarkable.

Never before have I seen Wisteria growing wild along side the roads and highways or been blown away by the slow changing from the pale pink to hurt your eyes purple flowers of the Japanese Plum Tree.

It has been transforming for me to observe the changes of the season. The dry gray place we moved to has suddenly brilliantly awaken with blossoms blooming, the spaces between filled with every shade of green imaginable.

The greens here are wild. Seriously. I know Ireland is known for their green--but North Carolina could join the contest.

As we drive along country roads my eyes are trained on the world beyond my window drinking in the vibrancy we pass through: lime, olive, almost black, emerald, avocado, apple, hunters------green.

Our driveway

I am so glad Spring is here! Aren't you?

A Slave to Fear

I have never considered myself an anxious person. Never have I struggled with panic attacks or been unable to push through the day because of my worries. If you had asked me about my approach to life, I would have said: "I'm a flexible planner and believe everything will work out." Life is as hard as I make it--so I'll let things roll off my back and I will move on and have faith, and have hope, and have a future.

With Red's and my move to NC and leap of faith into the world of coaching, I feel more and more exposed.

My fear has been found out---and not only that, it has been growing for my whole life. It is a monster.

Though I am not debilitated with attacks or physical responses---my mind races with my deficiencies, doubts, and debates: Should we have moved here? Was this the right decision? Will anyone hire me? There is no way that is a good fit. I'll never find my niche here. I'll probably mess up anyways.

You can imagine how the narration continues.

It is incredible to me that despite the Lord's provision in ALL things, I find ways to cling to my fear instead of the cross.

I revisited my journal entries from the past 7 months and read through my prayers of praise and pleadings for faith. "Father allow me to abound in you! Grow my faith and dependency on you so that only You receive glory." Prayers punctuated with the desire to know His plan for us and to be in His will.

For 7 months my prayers have not changed.

As I read through my notebook I began to recognize the pattern of fear lurking beneath the surface:

"Father tell me your will! (but not really, because I'm not sure I can handle it); Father, give me faith! (but not really, because I want to work out my life according to my own plan, not yours); Father, what are you calling me to do? (please, don't answer--I don't want to obey you.)

Fear of depending on the Lord. A fear to hope in His goodness. A fear to jump in the pool.

A favorite professor of mine from graduate school would regularly work through things with me and would use the analogy of a pool. My arena is huge---my boundaries are far reaching---but when it comes to jumping into the pool in the center---I freak out.

I want to dip a toe and then explain to you how I'm swimming with out being submerged.

Christ does not call me to simply dip my toe into His will. He calls me to jump with abandon.

Hey Laura, do a cannonball...a cartwheel off the diving board...even a belly flop.

I am convinced that I am not called to live a life of fear. Fear of failure, fear of the past, fear of opinions, fear of mistakes, fear of hurt, fear of exposure, fear of faith, fear of hope, fear of God's will.

Scripture is clear:

"Because those who are led by the Spirit of God are Sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of Sonship. And by Him we cry Abba Father!" Romans 8: 14-15

"...Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so your faith --of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor, when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:6-7

I do not have to live under fear because I am a daughter of Christ. I do not have to wonder about my trials because they are here to prove my faith in the Lord and to bring glory to Christ.

So, I'm wondering if our move to NC was a major nudge from the Lord for me to finally jump into the pool...

Though I'd rather do a swan dive--I'm pretty sure it's going to be a belly flop---painful, screaming--but hey, that water sure is going to feel cool and refreshing.

Hello New Life

Well, so you may or may not have heard the news...but Red and I have officially picked up shop and moved to Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

No. I'm not joking...and yes the Lou is officially in our rearview mirror.

To be honest---it has been a rough go! Life has been so sweet in StL. We built our marriage there and have been blessed in a beyond measurable way with friends, community, church, culture, delicious food, local beers, and outstanding coffee.

Anything that follows the Lou follows greatness.

With that being said, it would be against my personal view of life if I told you that Chapel Hill had nothing to offer.

Red and I have already found an off the chain Mexican restaurant (yes, off the chain) and I have been exploring several of the farm to table local gems. There is plenty of shopping and antiquing surrounding us and the people are all VERY nice (we are in the South again!)

Red's long hours provides plenty of free time for me to get lost in the streets of the Triangle (did I mention Durham and Raleigh are down the road?)---though I think I'm supposed to be looking for a job.

With huge changes come-----huge changes?

Difficult and true.

I will keep you posted as we begin to unfold what North Carolina has to offer and as Red and I find our way in our new home.

Cheers!